Cap'n Crunch Needs no Condiments
by MeredithAnn109
Summary: Just a playful romp between Mark and Roger ... One shot, R&R!


AN: I've quickly fallen under the spell of the Mark/Roger slash world, and this is my first attempt at a story ... My friend that has read it loves it, and I'm pretty happy with the result! It's just playful fun ... read and review, please!

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"Roger, is there anything besides Cap'n Crunch here? I'm starving," Mark Cohen lazily complained from the old, beat-up couch. Ever since Collins re-wired the near-by ATM, he was constantly supplying the guys with their favorite cereal … But this was week 3 of this diet, and it was getting old.

"Not that I can see … Would you stop whining?" Roger was looking though the kitchen, "At least we HAVE food. You remember that, you hear me?"

"Yes, mother," Mark replied with a smug grin.

"We can doctor it up a little bit…" Roger said, opening cabinets. "We have relish, Reddi Whip, and pesto."

"Because THAT'S more appealing." Mark replied disdainfully. "Don't we have anything to cook?"

"Like I just said, Marky, all we have here is 5 boxes of Cap'n Crunch, relish, Reddi Whip, and pesto."

"Okay. Well, fix me a bowl with … Reddi Whip … That's the least sickening option you gave me." Mark replied, taking a steadying breath.

"You're really going to try this?" Roger asked, pouring bowls of Cap'n Crunch and shaking the Reddi Whip can. "Although I guess this is sorta like the milk … but it's so sugary…" He trailed off like an overbearing mother, not noticing the childish gleam in his roommate's eyes.

"Roger, have you and Mimi ever … you know … _done _anything with whipped cream?" Mark asked, adjusting his glasses.

"What? NO!" Roger nervously laughed, "Have you and Maureen?"

"Well…"

"Really? I would have expected myself to before you!" Roger grinned, "How wild was it?"

Mark blushed a brilliant shade of crimson, "It was … messy … wild … actually, it was the most fun I had with Maureen…"

"My admiration for you has grown by leaps and bounds, buddy," Roger patted Mark on the back, momentarily forgetting that he had the Reddi whip can in his hand. A spray of whipped cream flew into the air and landed with a satisfied "splat" on Mark's head. Roger was stunned for a second, but a smile crept onto his face, and he let out a small snicker.

"Rogerrrr…" Mark said, reaching a hand up to his hair, "Do you really have to act like a little kid?"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Roger exclaimed, not concealing the boyish grin he had, "Besides, I've livened up breakfast … Isn't that what you wanted?"

"That's what I wanted … I didn't ask for a …" Mark began to scold his roommate, but inspiration struck. "for a … FOOD FIGHT!" he yelled, snatching the Reddi Whip can.

Roger gaped at his friend. "You're not serious, are you? Mark, we're grown men. We need to be--" He was cut off by a spray of whipped cream in his face. "You have GOT to be kidding me." He said, while Mark gleefully laughed, clutching onto the counter for support. "Well, if that's the way you want to play, Marky…" In his glee over starting a food fight, Mark had apparently forgotten how much tougher and stronger Roger was than him, and it wasn't long before Roger had tackled him to the floor.

"Okay, okay, I surrender!" Mark shrieked. Roger was holding him down with his legs and one arm, his other hand clutching the Reddi Whip just out of Mark's reach. Roger couldn't help but burst out laughing as his best friend was frantically clawing for the can of Reddi Whip, all thoughts of a normal breakfast completely forgotten.

"You want me to give up that easily?" Roger asked, quickly moving the Reddi Whip within Mark's reach and out, "I thought this was your idea, but if you insist …" he said, slowly getting up. As he stood up, though, he sprayed the Reddi Whip onto Mark. "Oops! Hand must have slipped!" he faked remorse, "I should tape this … where's your camera?"

"ROGER! You'll break it! Or get whipped cream on it!" Mark cried, scrambling to his feet, "And I guess I DON'T surrender," he firmly added. "Hand over the Reddi Whip, guitar boy."

"Make me!" Roger said, eyes glowing the way a young boy's do. Mark let out what can only be described as a war cry and threw himself onto Roger, still clawing wildly for the Reddi Whip. On top of strength, Roger had a height advantage over Mark, and simply held the Reddi Whip over their heads, royally faking a yawn. "You're going to have to give me more than this, Marky … And you've kinda got something here …" he trailed off, indicating Mark's whipped cream-covered face.

Mark stood back, analyzing the situation. "Take that!" he yelled, throwing the contents of one of the bowls of cereal at Roger. He watched in disgust as his breakfast simply fell to the floor, and backed into the counter as Roger lowered and aimed the Reddi Whip can at him. Mark grabbed onto the can and used all his strength to try and aim it back at Roger, but he only accomplished getting it aiming upright. The two stared each other square in the eyes for quite some time, neither wanting to surrender the fight. Roger glanced down at the can long enough to see Mark's hand reaching up to the nozzle, and as Mark squeezed the ends together, Roger tilted the can ever so slightly at Mark.

"ROGER!" Mark yelled, trying to cover his face. His attempt to not laugh failed, and this stopped any chance he had of at least trying to defend himself, much less fight back. Roger took advantage of this, and had him pinned to the floor for the second time that morning. As Roger hovered a few feet above Mark's Reddi Whip-covered body, Mark finally thought of a plan of retaliation, and pulled Roger down right on top of him.

"You SO didn't just do that!" Roger shouted, jumping up, "Look at me! I've got as much whipped cream on me now as you do!" His complaining was useless; Mark was lying on the floor, overcome with laughter. "This is so ridiculous…" Roger said, "But I haven't laughed this much in a long time … Oh, what the hell!" He continued to cover Mark in whipped cream, and joined in the almost paralyzing laughter. It wasn't long before they were both lying on the kitchen floor, Roger half leaned up against the wall, and Mark sprawled out in the middle of the floor, the Reddi Whip can long since rolled under a chair.

It was at this inopportune moment that Collins chose to burst through the door of the loft. Mark and Roger did not move from their spots on the floor, while Collins slowly took in the scene before him, a smile beginning in his eyes and spreading to his entire face. "Boys?" he asked, his voice thick with laughter and amusement, "I take it your breakfast was good this morning!"

"Hey … Collins …" Mark trailed off, wiping a tear from laughter from his eye, still not getting up from the floor.

"Do you think you could come back later?" Roger asked, "We kind of had … an accident with the Reddi Whip."

"Sure thing!" Collins said with a laugh, "Have fun … see ya!"

As soon as he left and the door was shut, Mark sighed and turned to Roger. "We're gay now, aren't we?" he asked, a slight smile on his face.

"No, that happens after we shower together to get rid of this whipped cream!" Roger replied, his eyes twinkling. Off of Mark's look, he quickly added, "Kidding! Go shower first. I'll just be lying here. Waiting. Just for you." Mark gave him one last look to make sure he was joking, slid a few times walking across the Reddi Whip-covered floor, and was soon showering, mind racing over the morning's events.


End file.
